


With a Sizzle and Not With a Bang

by C31PO (SirenAlpha), StalkerSidekick



Series: Dad Power Verse [2]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 19:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10315352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirenAlpha/pseuds/C31PO, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StalkerSidekick/pseuds/StalkerSidekick
Summary: Connor McDavid, first overall draft pick of 2015 and the Next One, is welcomed to the Edmonton Oilers. He expected team children, but he hadn't expected his involvement with with them and their parents. That was only because no one could have predicted that he would break his collarbone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of [ this fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7969903). It's not necessary to read that fic to follow this one, but it is an introduction to this universe. We've been chatting about this universe for a very long time at this point, and that's why we've split what we've come up with into teams. This fic is the Oilers' section of the universe, and the first chapter follows Connor McDavid's rookie season.

The birthdays of hockey team children depended heavily upon how far the team went into the postseason. Birthdays of the past decade fell in a smattering between August and October. Nugent-Hopkins gave birth to his daughter in late July. The Oilers weren’t known for making the postseason, but that was a nearly two week separation until the birth of the next Oilers team child. In a regular pregnancy that might have been fine. With a sped up team pregnancy, it might as well be a separation of at least a month.

Connor knew that. The birthdates of team babies got listed on players’ wiki pages. It had happened only the summer previous and made a splash in the news. Doctors were supposed to be able to control when the baby was born, and a child born prematurely was a terrifying anomaly. Connor wasn’t there for it.

After the Oilers drafted him, management gave him some of his future teammate’s phone numbers to be able to start getting to know them. Within the first few weeks, half of them had sent him texts along the lines of ‘you don’t need to have a baby for this team’.

Nugent-Hopkins himself texted him, **management will want you to have a kid probably by a trade dont feel you need to do it none of us on the team are gonna be disappointed or resentful or whatever else theyll tell you we’ll feel to get you to do it, consider the consequences of having a baby and then do whats best for you**.

Connor had heard rumor after rumor of how soon he’ll get pregnant and who by for the past year. He avoided it as much as he could, but it still got through. Every team he had met with during combine had asked about his fertility. He didn’t mind the idea of being pregnant, but the Oilers’ response came as a relief. He didn’t have to have a baby immediately to save the franchise or whatever else.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that it’s less about him and more about Nugent-Hopkins and his daughter. He couldn’t really begrudge them for it. It wasn’t like they actually knew him. Whatever the case was, it did make it easier when he had to sign his entry level contract and tell management he wasn’t going to have a baby.

He did his summer training in Toronto. Rumors sped around and filtered through both the players and media about teams having children. Ovechkin apparently had finally started on the baby making. Canadian media started calling Connor a disappointment when players started showing and Connor clearly wasn’t part of the group. Connor distracted himself from it with long conversations with Dylan.

Taylor Hall offered up his home to Connor for his rookie year, and Connor agreed. Connor moved to Edmonton with plenty of time to get settled in before the season started up.

“Welcome,” Taylor said when he greeted Connor and his parents at the airport while holding his daughter.  “This is Shae.”

Shae looked up at her father then over to Connor. “Hi,” Connor said, smiling at her.

Shae ducked her head to rest it on Taylor’s shoulder. “She doesn’t talk much,” Taylor explained.

“She’s cute,” Connor’s mother told him, and Taylor grinned.

Taylor couldn’t help too much with Connor’s baggage while carrying Shae, but Connor’s parents assured him they had it covered. They loaded up the luggage while Taylor got Shae into her carseat. Connor’s mom got the front seat so Connor had to take the middle seat in the back between Shae in her carseat and his father.

Shae might not talk but she did look. Specifically, during the car ride, she looked at Connor. Connor waved at her. She continued to stare. Connor made a face, trying to get her to laugh. She smiled for a moment then went back to staring at him. Connor glanced towards the front of the car, intending to ask Taylor what to do about the staring, but he was absorbed in a conversation with Connor’s mother about his neighborhood.

He sighed, leaning back in his seat, and tried to ignore it. Every time he looked over she was still staring at him. He gave up and stared back at her. She grinned when she noticed him looking. She patted at his arm then continued to stare at him. Connor continued to watch her not sure what else to do.

“How’s the staring contest going?” his dad asked.

“What?”

“With Shae.”

“Oh, I guess I’m losing.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Taylor said. “She does that sometimes, kinda just stares at whatever she’s interested in. We’re nearly home so you won’t have to deal with it too much longer.”

“It’s fine,” Connor said. He thought it was a little weird for a baby to have that kind of attention span, but what does he know? This was the longest he’d been near a baby in years. The parents of kids his age weren’t having babies anymore, and he’d never had the time to babysit even if he might’ve liked the extra spending money.

Taylor parked in his driveway, and everyone piled out of the car. Taylor grabbed Shae while the McDavids grabbed Connor’s luggage.

“It’s just you, me, Shae, and Luke,” Taylor said as he led the way into the house. “Gazdic, if you don’t know him. Please try to keep the house baby proof. I know it’s hard, but it’s to keep Shae safe.”

Connor’s mom gave him a look like she’d drag him back home by his ear if she heard there were any problems having him in the house. “It’ll be fine,” Connor said before getting his first good look at the place he’d be staying.

Taylor had understated how baby-proofed the house was. The floors were completely clean. Furniture with sharp edges had macgyvered padding around them. All stairs had baby gates, and the living room had been carefully configured so that no wires were visible and nothing could be knocked over.

“It’s impressive, but it seems almost like overkill,” Connor’s mom remarked.

Taylor sighed and smoothed down Shae’s hair. “Shae’s really quiet. She won’t even cry. I don’t really know what else to do.”

Taylor had been alone the first time he had found Shae bleeding and silently crying in the living room days after she had learned to crawl. He had no idea what she’d done, and he’d been gone for only a moment, but he’d carried her around with him all the time for several days afterwards until Luke and Shae’s pediatrician convinced him that he could let her crawl around and leave her in the care of her nanny.

Connor’s mom noticed that she’d said the wrong thing, and backtracked. “No, it’s wonderful really. I’ll make sure Connor helps you keep the place safe for her.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Connor added, mostly because he felt he had to. He felt like he’d been dropped off to a museum made of bubble wrap. Touch nothing and keep a baby he doesn’t know safe, and then go off and play violent hockey. Still probably better than living on his own in Edmonton.

“It’s just the first floor,” Taylor assured him. “You can keep your room how you like. I don’t care.”

Connor imagined that he would be spending very little time on the first floor then.

Taylor dropped Shae off in her playpen in the living room then helped the McDavids navigate the baby gates and stairs to help Connor move into one of the empty rooms. He’d share a hall bath with Luke, which was actually fewer people than he’d had to share with when living with his billet family. Besides, they’d probably shower at the practice facilities most of the time anyways.

Connor didn’t get anywhere close to fully unpacked by the time everyone started asking for dinner. Taylor ordered food, and Connor’s parents stayed for dinner. They’d spend the weekend at the hotel, help get Connor situated, then head back home.

After his parents were gone, Connor felt a little lost. This wasn’t the billet home he’d gotten used to. This was Taylor Hall’s home. He hid out in his room under the guise of finishing unpacking. Really, he got one drawer done then facetimed Dylan.

“Babies are weird,” Connor told him. “Well, Shae is like extra weird.”

“She’s a baby,” Dylan said, only half paying attention to the conversation with a television playing in the background. “How can a baby be extra weird? They’re a baby.”

“She had a full on staring contest with me.”

Dylan laughed.

“She doesn’t make any noise either. I haven’t heard her make a sound at all yet.”

“Okay, that is a little weird.”

“You should see downstairs. It’s, like, been covered in bubble wrap and shit. I have to help keep it that way, too.”

“You’ll be fine. Look after yourself and let the kid’s actual parent worry about all that other shit.”

“What about the babysitting?”

“She’s not your kid. You don’t have to do it twenty four seven. Quit stressing. You have your actual career starting soon. Worry about that.”

“Yeah, okay,” Connor said with a sigh, telling himself he just needed to get used to living with a baby.

Within days of training camp starting, Connor watched as Shae accidentally toddled into the coffee table. Connor sat too far away to do anything, and Taylor was less than a few feet from her. For a moment, he thought she was okay. She just bounced off the cushioned edge and plopped down onto the blanket Taylor had laid out for her. It all happened without her making any noise.

“Shae?” Taylor asked.

She turned towards him, and he immediately started making cooing noises. “You’re okay,” he told her in the softest voice Connor had ever heard from another hockey player. “I got you.”

Taylor picked her up and brought her over near the tissues and the couch where Connor sat. It brought Shae close enough for Connor to see the tears coming down her face. He continued to watch as Taylor patiently and gently wiped away her tears and snot until she seemed to calm down.

“How are you feeling? Do you still hurt?” Taylor asked.

Shae nodded.

“Where? Can you show me where?”

She patted her face where she had banged into the coffee table.

“I’ll kiss it better, okay?”

She nodded, and Taylor kissed her where she’d bumped herself and then in several more places for good measure. He asked, “Better?”

She nodded then curled up against him. Taylor sighed and sat down on the couch with Connor. “Guess that’s the end of play time.”

Connor didn’t know what to say. He’d never seen a kid act like that before. He’d never really seen a parent act like that before either.

“So how’s training camp treating you?” Taylor asked.

The words floated right over Connor’s head. “She didn’t cry.”

“Shae? Yeah, I told you she’s quiet.”

“What the fuck?”

Taylor glared at him.

“Sorry, but that’s weird, right? Babies don’t do nothing when they get hurt.”

The glaring got worse. “She’s not weird. She’s just quiet. She’s perfectly fine, hitting all of her milestones on time and everything. If she doesn’t want to talk, she doesn’t have to,” Taylor snapped.

“Okay, okay,” Connor said, holding up his hands. “I didn’t mean to offend you. She’s a great baby. It’s just-.”

“Unusual, I know,” Taylor said, calming down. “I had to find a nanny that wouldn’t talk shit about her to me and would actually follow my instructions and take care of her even if she wasn’t making any verbal signs of discomfort. I don’t have a lot of patience for that anymore.”

Taylor had gone through more nannies than he could name. He fired them immediately if they let her sit in a dirty diaper all day. Two he had fired after they each spent a week or so trying to subtly hint to him that there was something wrong with Shae. Another he’d fired after Taylor came home to Shae crying while the nanny had insisted nothing was wrong because she hadn’t been making any noise. Shae had nearly thrown a fit including actual noise when the nanny had attempted to pick her up, and Taylor nearly bodily threw her out of his home. He was still waiting for her current nanny to fuck something up and worried about how Shae would end up hurt this time.

Connor better understood the team’s reluctance to chirp the kid line. For Nuge, that was obvious from the outside. Now, it was pretty clear that Nuge wasn’t the only one with baby related issues.

“Sorry,” Connor said.

Taylor nodded in acknowledgment, and Connor took it as a sign to leave. He nearly texted Dylan about the incident once he made it back to his room, but then he realized that Taylor might not appreciate that. He settled on a different topic to start a conversation with Dylan on.

At their next practice, Taylor threw up his hands and announced, “Nobody get McJesus to babysit! He called my baby weird to my face.”

“Hey,” Connor complained, struggling to find a retort that wouldn’t end up with him in a deeper ditch while several of the guys booed. “That is not what I said.”

“True,” Taylor said, pointing to him. “But your exact words were worse.”

“Shut up, Hallsy,” Ebs said. “Your baby _is_ weird.”

“Take it back. Your baby is weirder.”

“They have a parent in common. They’re even.”

That drew laughter from the guys and their attention away from Connor as Ference got in on the chirping. He kept his head down as everyone finished getting ready for practice, and then for a good fifteen minutes more for good measure. At least the other young guys without kids didn’t seem to care about whether or not he’s a good babysitter.

Training camp ended without any fanfare, not that Connor had been expecting any. Pre-season sped by like those first few weeks of school where you go from having no homework to suddenly being swamped with shit to do. The being swamped with shit came by means of being unglamorously dumped into the regular season. Connor called it unglamorous because he didn’t score a goal his first game. He thought it was less of a big deal than him not getting pregnant, but the media went bananas anyways.

Connor had thought hockey without having to do school work would be a lot easier. He was wrong. Not only was it a lot more hockey to do, the schoolwork had been replaced by adulthood things. Like figuring out how to not be weird about giving Taylor his portion of rent and how to pay his portion of the bills. He also never had cash on him anymore because he never remembered to stop by an ATM (thank god for debit cards), and he was quite frankly concerned about all the food he’d ordered because he couldn’t actually cook. No one in the house could. Keeping his shit clean without a mother, his own or his billet, to yell at him about it was next to impossible. He was grossing himself out which he didn’t think was possible given that he’s a teenage boy and a jock. Nothing should gross him out.

It all culminated in Connor spending less time in his bedroom rather than actually dealing with it. Shae seemed to enjoy him as a playmate at least if occasional staring contests meant she liked him.

(It didn’t. Connor was just new to Shae, and she thought his face was weird.)

He woke up one afternoon to a hand on his face and realized that he’d fallen asleep on the living room couch. Shae patted at his face, trying to get him to wake up, while Taylor tried to muffle his laughter

Connor sat up so Shae couldn’t reach him, and she smiled at him. “Really?” Connor asked, Taylor.

“You deserved it,” he said. “Guess she didn’t like that you weren’t paying attention to her.”

Connor looked down to see her grinning up at him still. He didn’t know what she wanted from him. Eventually, she turned away to bring one of her toys over to Taylor and play with him. Connor breathed a sigh of relief.

Aside from babies interrupting impromptu naps, Connor also had to deal with getting comfortable with his laptop in common spaces. Most of the time, it was okay. He just wore headphones and made sure to hunch over his laptop like gollum. It worked.

Skype calls with his parents and Dylan were a little more difficult. He would go to the dining room for his parents because it looked nice, and no one ever went in there. Dylan, however, didn’t give a shit about niceness so Connor didn’t bother putting in the effort. He left in his headphones and typed his responses no matter how loudly Dylan complained about it.

“Is that a baby?” Dylan asked.

“Yes,” Connor said, watching as Shae tried to look around his laptop’s screen.

“You gonna watch her then?” Taylor asked as he stood up.

Connor didn’t think Taylor trusted him at all with his daughter. “What?”

“It’ll be a second, don’t worry,” Taylor said, waving his hand. “I just gotta go to the bathroom.”

“Okay,” Connor said weakly, not really able to call him back.

“Hold on,” he told Dylan then pulled off his headphones and set aside his laptop. He picked up Shae and settled her on his lap so they’d both face his computer. “Dyls, this is Shae. Shae, this is Dylan.”

“Hey, Shae,” Dylan said, waving at her and grinning.

Shae leaned forward in Connor’s lap. “Careful,” Connor told her, keeping his hands on her waist so she wouldn’t fall even if she wasn’t leaning in the direction of the edge of the couch.

Shae patted the screen where Dylan’s hand was then sat back, satisfied. Connor laughed. “She just patted the screen where your hand was.”

“Awesome,” Dylan said, fist pumping. “Internet high-five from a baby.”

“Yeah,” Connor said, holding out his hand for a low five. She patted his hand as well, and Dylan laughed.

“We can keep talking,” Connor told Dylan. “She’ll probably be quiet for it.”

“Okay,” Dylan said, reverting to their earlier conversation about being in Erie, but not being in school. Shae sat in Connor’s lap listening to the both of them. She tugged on Connor’s sweatpants, leaned back to bump her head on his chest, and nearly pulled one of his fingers too far back, but overall stayed unobtrusive to the conversation.

Taylor came back into the living room.

“I thought you said you were going to the bathroom,” Connor said, noting that Taylor had been gone for a little over a half hour.

“I did. Then I figured I’d get some things done while I didn’t have a baby on me. Nice job keeping her occupied by the way,” he said. “Want me to take her back?”

“Sure,” Connor said.

When Taylor attempted to pick her up, Shae began wriggling and flailing her hands around. “Think she wants to stay with you,” Taylor said, frowning.

“That’s cool, I guess,” Connor said, completely befuddled as to why Shae would want to stay with him. He assumed the whole conversation was going over her head, and Dylan was funny looking, but not that funny looking.

“I gotta head off, though,” Dylan said, interrupting.

“Okay, see you later,” Connor said, and they ended the call.

Shae began wriggling around again. Connor turned to Taylor, “I think she wants you.”

“Guess she just liked your skype call,” Taylor said.

“She’s going to grow up to be so nosy,” Connor said once his lap was free of baby and he could take his laptop back.

“I doubt she’ll go around spreading rumors though.”

“Yeah, probably not,” Connor agreed. He had yet to hear her speak at all, whatsoever, even though Taylor swore she could talk and had been able to talk for a couple months. He said she had stage fright whenever anybody questioned him on it.

* * *

“Hey, Connor,” Taylor said with Shae on his hip.

“Yeah?” he asked, looking up from his breakfast and still only half awake.

“Ebs and Nuge are gonna be coming by after practice with their kids for a playdate.”

“So stay out of the living room?”

“Um, you don’t have to, but Hayden and Aurelia are a lot noisier than Shae so I just wanted to warn you.”

“Yeah, it’ll be fine,” Connor said, then registered the names Taylor had said. “Wait, who is Hayden?”

“Ebs’ kid.”

“I thought his name was Laurent,” he said, now completely confused. Everyone in the locker room said his name was Laurent. Even Ebs’ wiki said it was Laurent.

“It is. We just call him Hayden.”

“Why?”

Taylor shrugged. “I don’t know. We just kinda did. There’s a Laurent on the team, you know.”

“Okay, nobody calls him Laurent either, but whatever,” Connor said, not wanting to expend the brain power it would take to sort that all out. “I’ll stay out of the way of the play date.”

He kept to his word and actually went to an ATM after practice. He also tried going grocery shopping before realizing he still didn’t know how to cook anything or store food properly so he grabbed some fruit and a couple microwavable meals then beat it.

He returned to the house to hear babies babbling. Some of it might have been English, but he wasn’t picking it out. He put his food away in the kitchen then snuck into the living room to check out the situation.

The kids seemed pretty happy, giggling and talking loudly at one another. Not Shae, but she was smiling pretty big and making plenty of gestures.

The adults, however, looked like their spirits had left their bodies. They were all half watching the kids and half watching each other like they expected one of them to toss out a grenade or something. They weren’t like this at the rink so Connor had no idea what had happened, but he was not gonna get in the middle of it.

He slowly tiptoed back out of the room then sprinted up the stairs to his room. He even started cleaning it so he’d have an excuse to not deal with whatever awkward relationship problems were playing out in the living room.

Connor could leave the awkward situation entirely, but Taylor couldn’t. Worse, he could remember the times when all three of them were good together.

“Look at this,” Ebs had complained, pulling up his shirt and revealing a red rash just above his hip. “It’s still spreading.”

They’d all been sitting on the couch in Ebs’ and Taylor’s place, squished in comfortably together. Well, as much as they could be now that they were in what could be considered their second trimester and definitely developing bellies.  

“Have you been putting lotion on it like they told you to?” Nuge asked.  

“Yes, that’s why I’m so annoyed,” he said, shoving his shirt down. “And it’s itchy.”

“It’s good it’s not contagious,” Taylor said.

“I’d have more reason than you to be worried about it. I’m the one sitting next to him,” Nuge pointed out.

“Right,” Taylor said, grabbing Nuge and manhandling him a little bit so he worked a little better as a human shield. Also, so Taylor could have him as close as possible. Nuge laughed and patted his arms.

“Shut up. You wouldn’t get it anyways, Mr. Perfect. Can’t believe you never got morning sickness once,” Ebs complained.

Nuge grinned brightly.

“You don’t get to complain about morning sickness if you’re going to complain about your rash. I’m the only one here still puking anymore,” Taylor said.

“At least you guys aren’t gaining so much weight,” Nuge complained.

“That’s because you’ve been eating too much,” Ebs said.

“Have not. I’m on the same diet as you guys.”

“Then why do I keep finding chocolate wrappers all over the damn place?” Taylor asked.

Nuge moaned and lay back against Taylor as well as putting his feet in Ebs’ lap. “I can’t help it. They’re so good.”

“That’s why you got chubby cheeks now,” Taylor said, laughing as he pinched Nuge’s cheek. He kind of liked the extra weight on Nuge. It made him look soft for once rather than all long and sharp.

“Remind me why we let you sit in the middle. You’re the most pampered pregnant person ever,” Ebs said then tickled Nuge’s feet, making him squirm and giggle.

“Cause you love me,” Nuge said, pulling his feet away from Ebs.

“Also cause he doesn’t have any nasty rashes,” Taylor adds.

Ebs rolled his eyes. “You guys are the worst.”

He then proceeded to crawl across the couch to lay down half on Nuge and half on Taylor.

“There’s not enough space,” Nuge said, wriggling around trying to get comfortable again. “We’re too pregnant.”

Taylor didn’t mind at all, once Ebs got off his belly anyways. He liked when all three of them were close. Then he felt a familiar unsettling, acidic sensation in the pit of his stomach. “Guys.”

“Do you have to puke?” Ebs asked.

“Ugh, Hallsy,” Nuge complained, sitting up.

“It’s you or the toilet,” he said, and went for the bathroom as fast as he could once Ebs got off him.

Now, their one year old children talked more than they did.

Connor came down from his room after the playdate had ended and dinner time was arriving. “So,” he said, trying to figure out a way to get rid of the weirdness. “If you guys get together for playdates, why don’t you invite Ference?”

“Oh, um, well,” Taylor stalled, and Connor realized he made it worse. “We kind of planned not to have him involved in the first place. Me, Nuge, and Ebs, I mean. We were just going to raise our kids together, but that didn’t really happen which I’m sure you’ve noticed. It was kind of too late to change plans with Ference. That would have just been worse, I think. He’s, also, old.”

“Um, didn’t you in order to have Shae? Isn’t that a bigger issue with age?”

“I know what I did.”

Connor cleared his throat figured he might as well ask at this point. “Why still have the playdates then?”

Taylor shrugged. “No point in making the kids suffer just ‘cause we’re weird. Isn’t that right, Shae? You like Aurelia and Hayden, don’t you?”

Shae didn’t answer. Instead, she dropped her stuffed dog so Taylor had to return it to her. He sighed as she began to chew on its ear. “I never get any thanks.”

“I can heat up leftovers if you want,” Connor offered.

“Since when do you cook?”

“I know how to use a microwave,” he said defensively.

“Be my guest then.”

And, suddenly, Connor was the one preparing dinner for the adults while Taylor got Shae’s baby food ready.

* * *

 Connor was quickly learning why adults loved coffee. Dylan had been a young adopter, but Connor couldn’t get past the taste. Downing cokes first thing in the morning seemed really weird, though.

“Daddy, applesauce.”

Connor swore he had imagined the voice in a half-awake delusion while waiting for the coffee to finish because it definitely wasn’t a voice any hockey player would use even if one or two of them asked to be called daddy.

“Was that...Shae?” Luke asked.

Connor turned to see Shae sitting in her high chair looking very annoyed and gesturing toward the fridge. Taylor seemed to be melting into the floor. “It was,” he confirmed.

“Are you crying?” Luke asked.

“I’m fine,” Taylor assured him, muffling his voice with hands clasped over his mouth.

“Applesauce,” Shae repeated.

“She can talk?” Connor asked.

“I said she was quiet not mute,” Taylor said, turning to glare at Connor. “She’s just never talked in front of other people before.”

“Maybe you should get her the applesauce then as, like, incentive,” Luke said.

“Yes,” Taylor said then darted across the room to get the applesauce from the fridge for her. “I guess it’s a no to the cereal then.”

The coffee finished, and Connor felt more prepared to deal with the situation after his first cup. “Is that all she knows how to say?” he asked.

“I literally have no idea,” Taylor said. “She just kinda pops up with new words every so often.”

“She talks really well for a kid that doesn’t like to talk.”

“Yeah, her pediatrician thinks she waits to use words until she’s sure she can pronounce them correctly so, like, really good diction for a one year old.”

“What was her first word?” Connor asked then flinched for sounding like a mom.

“Daddy,” Taylor said, looking like he was prepared to melt into the floor again. “Best moment of my life.”

“And the walking was your worst?” Luke asked then laughed.

“It’s good she can walk. It’s bad that it’s harder to keep track of her now that she can.”

When they arrived at practice, Taylor announced to the room, “I told you Shae can talk! I have witnesses now!”

“Can she?” Nuge asked.

“Yeah, like two words at least,” Connor answered.

If anyone thought that would be the end of it, they were wrong. Taylor did not shut up about it for the entirety of practice. “This is the best news, guys. Shae’s so great. Everything is looking up. Things are gonna be so good. I can tell.”

“You’re reading way too much into a baby talking,” Ebs told him. “Nothing all that great happened once Hayden started talking.”

“Not possible. This is gonna be good, I promise.”

Then Connor slid into the boards with two defencemen on him in their next game and came up with a broken collar bone. If there was any good going on, it wasn’t happening for him.

“I’m in pain,” Connor complained when they made it back home, immediately lying down on the couch. “I suffer.”

“Okay, there, there, rookie,” Taylor said, ruffling his hair. “Injuries happen to everyone.”

“Not me, I’m McJesus.”

“It’s only been, what, two months, and Edmonton’s already gotten to him,” Luke said laughing.

“If McJesus doesn’t want to be injured he should go to his room and rest,” Taylor said.

Connor groaned and forced himself up.

“McJesus,” Shae piped up.

“No, laughing hurts,” Connor complained.

“Then go to bed, Connor,” Taylor said. “You’re going to bed, too, Missy.”

Shae ducked her head which probably meant she was okay with going to bed. Connor sighed, accepted his fate, and went to bed.

Connor did not have much experience with injuries. He didn’t hurt thanks to the painkillers, but he got super antsy within a couple of days. He cleaned his room. He cleaned the bathroom. He bought real groceries. He attempted a new recipe, and the burning was not his fault. He did it all with one hand because he didn’t have hockey and boredom was the worst.

“You know what?” Taylor said.

“What?” Connor asked, not stopping his path around the living room. He was tracing the wall with his good hand and doing his best not to run into any furniture.

“You need to go.”

“Go where?”

“Outside,” Taylor said, pulling Connor’s hand from the wall. He lead him out of the living room and to the front door. “Go take a walk. Don’t come back until you’re not going to accidentally step on Shae.”

“I wouldn’t accidentally step on Shae,” Connor retorted as Taylor shoved him out the door.

“Take a walk.”

“Where?” Connor asked as Taylor shut the door on him. “I don’t have a jacket on.”

Taylor did not open the door.

Connor groaned and spent five, maybe ten minutes sprawled out face down on the grass feeling sorry for himself. Then he got up and went walking around the neighborhood he barely knew so he wouldn’t get cold. The neighborhood was more boring than Taylor’s house so he spent ten minutes laying down on the grass in a nearby park. It didn’t really help, but it wasn’t like he had anything else to do.

When he got back into the house, using the key he did have on him after all, Taylor didn’t force him back out again.

“I worked things out with the nanny,” Taylor told him. “You can take care of Shae part time when you don’t have to do your PT and whatever else.”

“I thought you were worried I was going to step on her.”

“I’m hoping giving you something to do will make you stop acting like a crazy person.”

“Will you pay me?”

Taylor gave him a weird look.

“I’m out of work,” Connor said, pointing to his shoulder.

“What? You want five bucks an hour?”

“Five bucks?” Connor asked. “That’s not even minimum wage.”

“You’re an injured hockey player, you’ll be fine. Besides, you’ve got endorsement deals and shit.”

“Fine, I’ll take the job.”

“Great.”

For all Taylor didn’t trust nannies with Shae, Connor already understood her better than all of her past nannies did when starting out. Taylor also knew Connor better than he’d known any of the nannies. He hoped this would work, especially if it got Connor to quit moping about his injury. If Connor’s shoulder ended up being a problem for babysitting, they’d work it out.

* * *

 Connor quickly learned that while Shae was quiet, she was not less demanding than any other baby.

“Babies take so much effort,” Connor complained to Dylan over skype.

“She can hear you, you know,” Dylan pointed out. “You’re literally talking over her head.”

Connor did have Shae sitting in his lap just like their first time skyping Dylan. “She likes being included.”

“How would you even know that?”

“She gets squirmy if you don’t pay enough attention.”

Dylan looked at Shae. She continued to calmly chew on the ear of her stuffed dog. Dylan shook his head. “Whatever you say.”

“She’ll chuck something at you if you aren’t paying attention. She’s got pretty good aim.”

“Sounds evil.”

“Shae’s not evil,” Connor retorted. “She’s adorable, isn’t that right, Shae?”

Shae looks up at the sound of her name, but doesn’t respond to his question. Dylan laughs.

“I know I was worse at her age. My parents say I threw tantrums whenever I didn’t get what I want,” Connor said, brushing back Shae’s hair so it wouldn’t get in her mouth as she chewed.

“I definitely believe that.”

“Hey,” Connor complained.

“I was there when you broke your hand. You were so pissed.”

“That was different.”

“Was not. You wanted hockey and you wanted to beat that guy’s face in and then you were pissed off for days because breaking your hand meant no hockey. How pissed did you get this time?”

“I wasn’t pissed. I was bored.”

“You get weird and grumpy when you’re bored.”

“No shit,” Connor said, covering Shae’s ears. “That’s why I’m a part time nanny now.”

Dylan laughed. “That’s such a weird fucking solution.”

“Whatever. It works. Me and Shae are chill,” he said and held out his hand before Shae. She smacked it for a low-five. “See?”

“Yeah, you and a baby get along great.”

“Hey, babies can hate people.”

“Yeah, but all you have to do is, like, coo at them to get them to like you.”

“You clearly have no idea how much effort is involved in taking care of a baby,” Connor said. He hasn’t technically even spent a full day as her sole caregiver, but he is exhausted anyways. A lot of it probably has to do with only having one good hand at the moment, but there’s definitely a lot more worry going into it and nearly as much running around as with hockey. He didn’t know how Taylor did it, especially if he didn’t have a good nanny helping him.

“Nope, and I don’t want to know,” Dylan said, grinning. “Not yet anyways. I’m not in the NHL yet so no need to worry about team kids. Maybe in a few years.”

“I’m not having a team kid as long as I live with Hallsy. One baby is enough,” he said.

Shae stopped chewing on her stuffed doll. She started trying to crawl off of Connor’s lap. Connor scooped her up and repositioned her. “I’m not letting you fall off the couch. Hallsy’d kill me.”

She squirmed around, trying to get free.

“Looks like you got other things to worry about,” Dylan said, laughing. “I’ll call you later.”

“Yeah, see you,” Connor said then hung up on Dylan.

He carefully set Shae down on the ground. She looked around for a moment then began toddling away from him. Connor sighed and followed her because she would climb something and kill herself if he left her to her own devices. He fully supported Taylor’s decision not to let her roam around on the upper floor. At least she was too short to open any doors.

“How are things going?” Taylor asked after a couple days of testing out the part time nannying. “Shae treating you okay?”

“She’s been good,” Connor said, maneuvering her into her high chair. “She’s seemed pretty happy to me.”

“That’s good,” he said. “No squirming?”

“Not for long, anyways,” he answered as he gets food out for her. “I fixed whatever her problem was and then she stopped squirming.”

“You’re an 18 year old hockey player, and you’re better than most of the nannies she’s had.”

“Is that a compliment for me or a slight against them?” Connor asked, opening the container and starting to feed Shae. She squirmed for a moment, but Connor waited her out the same way Taylor had learned to.

“Both,” Taylor said, distracted by the thought of different hockey players feeding Shae. They had talked about it plenty of times. All sharing tasks and raising their kids together like this. It didn’t turn out that way, of course.

Aurelia hadn’t stopped screaming since coming home from the hospital. It reverberated through Taylor’s head non-stop. It was still more comforting than his own daughter’s silence. She kept looking around the room, but she didn’t cry like Aurelia did.

“Nuge, you need to sleep,” Ebs had said, gently and quietly.

“No, I need to get her to eat,” Nuge argued. He’d already had an edge to his tone.

“Me and Hallsy can take care of her,” Ebs said. “You haven’t slept since you got back.”

“She hasn’t eaten since we left,” Nuge retorted. “I need to feed her.”

“It won’t happen when you’re both upset,” Ebs said, and Taylor can hear irritation rising in his voice.

“She’s upset because she’s hungry,” he snapped. “I need to feed her. I don’t know why she won’t eat. She ate fine at the hospital.”

“I get that. Me and Hallsy can take care of her. You need to sleep.”

“Hallsy has his own kid to feed,” Nuge said.

Aurelia paused in her screaming. Taylor tensed, turning to look at Nuge and his baby. She took another breath and began screaming again. Taylor sighed and looked down to Shae. He bounced her like he’d been shown to, but she remained silent with her face twisted up like she wanted to cry but couldn’t. The nurses had been so worried when she’d been born, and he kept carrying that fear with him.

“I don’t yet,” Ebs said, taking a deep breath and calming himself. “Please, I’m worried. I can take care of her for an hour or two while you sleep.”

Nuge huffed. “I just don’t understand why she won’t eat.”

“Your sleep deprivation might have something to do with it.”

Ebs stepped towards Nuge, cautiously placing his hands on Nuge’s hips like he’s too afraid to hug him. Quietly, he said, “Ryan, please.”

Ebs leaned in, and Taylor thought he was going to kiss him. That Nuge would calm down, hand over Aurelia, and finally get some sleep. Nuge, however, ducked his head. “No, I need to take care of her.”

Nuge pulled back and walked away. Aurelia continued to cry, though it faded with the distance. Taylor bounced Shae again, trying to get something from her. She squirmed a moment then settled down, silent and with her eyes closed.

“Hallsy?” Ebs asked.

“Nuge has a preemie that won’t shut up, and I’ve got a baby that just won’t make any noise,” Taylor said.

“Hallsy,” he chastised.  

“It’s okay, Ebs. Your baby should come out fine,” he said, eyeing Ebs’ still large stomach. “Third time’s a charm, right?”

“There’s nothing wrong with either of your babies,” Ebs said. “You guys just need to stop freaking out.”

Aurelia stopped crying. Taylor felt like he was getting choked. He had to check Shae to make sure she was still breathing. He wanted to cry for her, make some noise to ensure that she was there.

“Taylor?” Ebs asked again.

“If Nuge won’t sleep, I will,” Taylor said, too exhausted to do anything more. He left Ebs in the living room so he could curl up with Shae and listen to her breathe.  It was the first time he thought their plans might not work out.

“Daddy,” Shae demanded.

“What, baby?” Taylor asked, reaching out for her hand.

She grabbed hold of as many of his fingers as would fit in her grasp. That seemed to be all she wanted as she went back to eating with her other hand.

“I’m kind of glad, now, that she’s quiet,” Connor said, watching Shae as she ate. “I think it makes it easier for me to keep calm when something happens.”

Taylor didn’t find it easier at all.

* * *

 Connor and Taylor kept tweaking the nannying schedule between the games and road trips, Connor’s PT, and Shae’s actual nanny’s availability. It was a running mess of a schedule for them, but they did a pretty good job of keeping Shae’s days regular.

They learned their lesson for getting off schedule the hard way towards the end of November. Taylor had to leave for a rather long road trip, and Shae figured it out. She got antsy as he gathered his bags to leave, circling around and getting under everyone’s feet.

“Goodbye, baby,”  Taylor said, kissing her cheek like he did before he left for home games.

She shook her head as he started towards the door. She patted Connor’s leg. “He’s gotta go, Shae,” he told her.

She shook her head and her face started turning red. “Taylor,” Connor said, and then the waterworks began.

Shae cried silently, and Taylor looked back. “I’m sorry, Shae. I gotta go.”

“No,” she said, loudly. She ran as best she could after him, now making whimpering noises. “Daddy, stay.”

“Oh, Shae,” Taylor said, picking her up when he was supposed to be out the door. “I’m so sorry. I gotta go. You’re gonna have fun with Connor. I’m gonna call you everyday.”

“No,” she insisted, shaking her head. “Stay.”

“I can’t, baby,” he said, apologetic. “I’d take you with me if I could.”

“I can take her,” Connor said, holding out his arms for her.

Shae shook her head and clung to Taylor. “I’m sorry, but you gotta go with Connor.”

She squealed when Connor took her from Taylor. She reached out for Taylor. “Daddy, no,” she whimpered.

“I love you,” he said, giving her another kiss. “I’m gonna call you every day.”

Shae continued to cry after Taylor finally made it out of the house, tucking her head against Connor’s shoulder. Connor rubbed her back and murmured soothing words to her. She cried so much she tired herself out and fell asleep. Connor carried her for a little while longer, trying not to freak out about being in charge of her for a little over a week. He’d be able to call Taylor or her nanny at any point, but this would be the longest time Taylor was gone.

Connor eventually settled her in her crib. He then went about organizing his things and cleaning up, anything to feel more adult-like and prepared. It kind of worked. He woke Shae up from her nap and settled her back into her routine though she was subdued for the rest of the day.

After dinner, Connor set up a skype call with Taylor. Shae refused to look at the screen.

“Shae, come on, I’m calling you like I promised,” Taylor begged. “I’m sorry I had to leave. Won’t you, please, look at me?”

Shae refused, focusing on her stuffed dog instead. Connor sighed, feeling weirdly caught in the middle of family drama. “She hasn’t been very happy today. Otherwise, she’s been fine.”

“Okay, that’s good at least,” Taylor said, running his hand through his hair.

Connor rubbed Shae’s back. “Don’t you wanna talk with your dad, Shae?”

She refused to look at the screen.

“Well, if she doesn’t want to talk, I’ll let you guys go. Just, keep me posted. Goodnight,” Taylor said then ended the call.

After Taylor disappeared from the screen, Shae curled up towards Connor. He rubbed her back again. “I think you should have talked to him, or at least looked at him. Your dad feels just as bad as you do about this. He’d take you with him if they’d let him.”

Shae didn’t answer him, just curled herself up tighter. Connor put her to bed early, not knowing what else to do.

Shae seemed back to normal the following day. She looked more alert and likely to smile. She ran around with her toys and had a lot of energy as she played with Connor. She didn’t make any trouble during her meals. Her nanny reported more of the same.

Connor only got nervous about her when he called Taylor over skype for their daily call. Shae seemed a little unhappy with the situation, pouting through the whole endeavor and constantly readjusting her toy. Still, she looked at the screen. Taylor was relieved enough and told her all about his day. Connor told Taylor about his day with Shae because she clearly didn’t want to talk with him even if she was listening.

“Bye, Shae. Be good for Connor,” Taylor said before hanging up, and Connor caught his sad expression before he disappeared from view.

Shae leaned back against his chest, clutching her toy to her chest. “Ready for bed?” Connor asked.

She nodded.

Things got a little easier as days went by. The responsibility settled more easily within Connor. Shae grew less grumpy over her father’s extended absence. Then came the horror that was realizing that Shae was in need of a bath.

Shae did not like baths. The only time Connor had seen Shae run around upstairs had been when she was running away from Taylor to get out of having a bath. Taylor had given him some tips and rules, but that did not mean this would be easy.

First things first, he locked them into Taylor’s bathroom. Shae became suspicious, and Connor realized that he’d forgotten the swimsuit Taylor had made him swear to wear. He turned on the water, and Shae headed straight for the door.

“It’s locked. You’re not getting out,” Connor told her as he checked the water for temperature.

Shae dropped flat on the floor. Taylor had warned him she might do that. It was something she had picked up from Hayden. Connor decided it would be best to leave her there while he finished filling the tub.

“Come on, Shae,” Connor said, turning off the water and going over to rub her back. “The faster we do this the faster it’s over.”

He picker her up and she squirmed, trying to get out of his hold. He got her clothes off before she got hold of a shampoo bottle and threw it at him.

“Ow,” he complained even though it was mostly empty and didn’t hurt at all. “That’s not nice.”

He sighed as she ran away from him again. Taylor was right. He’s just going to have to hogtie her and get her in there himself. He pulled off all of his clothes except for his underwear, grabbed Shae, and sat them both down in the bath tub.

“Happy now?”

Shae splashed the water angrily. She admitted defeat and let Connor wash her though she pouted the entire time.

“Don’t you feel better now that you’re all nice and clean?” Connor asked as he dried her off with her towel.

She shook her head and Connor laughed. He used the extra towel he had brought for drying himself off. He got her dressed again in her favorite pjs and then set her in her play pen to get dressed.

“Do you still love me?” he asked when he got her back out of the pen.

She shook her head.

“Aw, but I was just trying to help. It’s really your dad’s fault. He made me do it,” he explained, and she didn’t seem to believe him. “I still love you.”

Shae got over it by the following morning and decided she liked Connor again.

The highlight of the week came when Connor put on a top 40s radio station during play time, and Shae began to sway as best she could to the music.

“You wanna dance, Shae?” Connor asked, getting to his feet.

She gave him a confused look.

“Dance,” he repeated, doing a little shimmying motion. “Do you want to do it with me?”

She held up her arms, and he picked her up, carefully adjusting her so he could support her with his good arm. Connor wouldn’t really call himself a good dancer, but it’s not like Shae would know that. He stuck to swaying and side to side motions so Shae could tell they were moving without too much jostling. He didn’t think he’d be able to hold onto her with only one good arm if he did anything that would bounce her.

Shae grinned as he danced and spun them around. He sang along to the music, and she smiled wider. When he tied to take a break during commercials, she frowned and patted at his arm and wriggled her legs.

“Hold on, hold on,” he told her, trying to get his breath back. “I’m doing all the work here, you know.”

He started dancing again, and she giggled. “Dance,” she said.

“Yeah, dance,” Connor said, laughing a little breathlessly. “You’ll have to get your dad to do it with you when he comes back.”

“McJesus.”

Connor rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine, I’ll keep dancing.”

When Taylor made their daily call, all Shae would say was “Dance.”

“We had a little dance during playtime,” Connor explained. “Mostly me as I carried her.”

Taylor laughed. “Don’t have too much fun without me. I’ll be back soon.”

“Dance,” Shae repeated insistently.

“I’ll take you out dancing when I get back, how does that sound?” Taylor asked.

Shae looked like she was considering it for a moment then she nodded. Taylor grinned. “Great.”

Taylor’s return was a time of much weeping. Shae ran to him as soon as he got the door open. He picked her, dropping his bag in the process. “Oh, I missed you so much.”

He kissed her all over her face, and Connor considered that now might be the time to leave

“What’s wrong, Shae?” Taylor asked. “Why are you crying?”

“Daddy,” she mumbled out between her tears while reaching for him.

“I’m sorry, baby. Travelling sucks, I know. But I’m back. I love you, baby,” he said, wiping away her tears and kissing her forehead.

Connor swore he saw Taylor starting to cry, and that was definitely the time to leave. He booked it before he started crying about Taylor returning, too. Dylan made fun of him for it when he told him about it in their weekly skype call. Connor had no defence.

Shae was noticeably happier after Taylor’s return. The part time nannying definitely taught Connor a lot about recognizing Shae’s emotions. And plenty of other baby related things that would probably be useful in the future.

It did not, however, tell him what to do about Taylor’s scheduled play date for Shae with Aurelia and Hayden. He wasn’t really just a rookie living in the house by that point. He was closer to a live in part time nanny at least where Shae was concerned. The deciding factor was that Taylor, Ebs, and Nuge were still clearly weird about each other, and Connor wanted nothing to do with that. So when they arrived, he hid away with his laptop in the dining room.  

Connor had learned to pick out all of their voices at that point. Ebs didn’t do baby talk except for the tone. Nuge was too quiet to pick out words. Taylor sounded like Taylor. Shae, obviously, didn’t sound like anything, but Hayden was the giggly one. Aurelia went between humming and babbling with a few real words mixed in depending on her mood.

Connor looked up from his laptop screen when he heard the patter of small feet. Shae came up to him, looking fiercely determined. She grabbed at his wrist and tugged on his arm.

“You want me to come with you?” he asked.

She nodded so he closed his laptop and followed her into the living room.

“Oh my god,” Taylor said as Shae brought Connor over to the play area they’d set up.

“What’d she want me for?” he asked as Shae took a seat then patted the ground for him to join her.

“I think she wanted to use you to one up the little kitten,” Ebs said, biting down on his smile.

“I’m not good enough for my own kid,” Taylor bemoaned, covering his face with his hands.

Connor looked over to Nuge for a better explanation, but he was busy trying really hard not to laugh. Hayden wasn’t paying any attention to the rest of them as he was trying to line up an army of stuffed animals. Aurelia, however, was watching Connor about as judgingly as any baby could. Connor, then, noticed that she was holding one of Shae’s favorite toys to her chest.

She threw down the toy and stomped over to Nuge. She plopped down into his lap and crossed her arms and her little face all scrunched up like she was angry enough to cry. Shae got up and snatched up the toy then took a seat next to Connor again and grabbed his arm.

“Did I just get used for a power play between one year olds?” Connor asked.

“Shae and Aurelia don’t always get along perfectly well,” Ebs said.

“Shae, do you not love me enough?” Taylor asked.

Shae only gave her father a blank look.

“It’s probably only cause I’m new to Aurelia,” Connor said, trying to keep Taylor from getting too distraught though he wasn’t sure how confident he was about his own bullshit answer.

On the other side of the rug, Nuge rubbed Aurelia’s back and held a whispered conversation with her to get her to calm down.

Hayden laid out on his back on the blanket and announced, “Tired.”

“Do you want to do something else or just lay for a while?” Ebs asked him.

Hayden furrows his brows. “Lay.”

“Okay, we’ll just sit then.”

Connor asked, “Do you guys all see the same pediatricians for your kids or something?”

“No, we see different ones,” Ebs answered. “Why?”

Connor shrugged. “I guess you picked it up from Hallsy then. He always asks Shae a bunch of questions like that to figure out what she wants cause she doesn’t like talking.”

“I thought Hallsy had been kidding about you being a part time nanny after saying you shouldn’t babysit,” Nuge said. “If you’re paying attention to how he parents, though.”

“Hey, he really did call Shae weird to my face, and I meant it when I said it,” Taylor said.

“I have a fast learning curve,” Connor said, and all three of his teammates laughed.

Then Aurelia stood up from Nuge’s lap. She walked over towards Shae and Connor looking downwards. Shae looked at her for a moment then she held out the toy towards her. Aurelia cautiously took the toy back and mumbled, “Thank you.”

“Aw,” Connor said. “Shae’s learning to share. That’s so cute.”

Connor leaned over to give her a loose hug so she could pull away if she wanted.

“Shae, no!” Aurelia said, looking like she thought Connor was gonna crush her. “Don’t!”

“She’s fine,” Connor promised, opening up his arms.

Aurelia released something like a war cry and attempted to climb Connor’s back. Taylor laughed like a hyena. “You get to be the jungle gym.”

Nuge stood up, looking a little concerned. “Don’t hurt yourself, Relly.”

“I think they’re fine,” Ebs said, grinning.

“Hayd’n! Help,” Aurelia cried a little too close to Connor’s ears. Her hands didn’t do too much damage just clinging onto him.

Hayden struggled to his feet like it was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life. Connor didn’t think he could take another baby on his back. He stuck out his foot to keep Hayden back from him. He tapped his toes against Hayden’s little tummy a couple times before he decided to tackle his foot to the ground.

Ebs laughed. “Go Hayden.”

“Don’t encourage him,” Connor said. “I’m pinned down.”

“You’re still sitting upright,” Taylor said.

Connor rolled his eyes. “Oh no. I’m being defeated. Brought down by little babies.”

He carefully leaned back so it seemed like Aurelia was pulling him down. She didn’t let him go until he got his shoulders down to the floor. She cheered. “Shae!”

She walked over Connor’s arms to get to Shae and hug her. Hayden rolled off his leg.

“Have fun?” Taylor asked.

“Yeah, loads,” Connor said on the edge of sarcastic. He didn’t mind all that much. The babies were much cuter when he didn’t have to take care of them.

Hayden got up from the ground and toddled up towards Connor to look at his face. After a moment, he flopped down to lie over Connor’s stomach, knocking out his breath. Ebs cracked up.

“Your babies are too much,” Connor groaned out.

“That just means he likes you,” Ebs said.

“He could like me less,” Connor said, rubbing Hayden’s back. He seemed to like it and squirmed around until he got perfectly comfortable on top of Connor.

Then Aurelia pig-piled on top of Hayden causing both of them to giggle as Connor groaned.

“They’re not that heavy,” Nuge said.

“They are when they’re right on top of your diaphragm,” Connor wheezed. He took the deepest breath he could and managed to raise the kids on top of them. Hayden copied him, and Aurelia giggled and rolled off. Hayden poked his belly and Connor released his breath.

“I think that’s enough torture,” Connor told the kids, sitting up and making sure Hayden landed on his lap.

Hayden looked over to his father and held out his arms. “Daddy.”

“Okay, okay,” Ebs said, getting up to collect him from Connor.

“I didn’t hurt him, did I?” Connor asked as Ebs picked up Hayden.

“You okay, buddy?” Ebs asked Hayden.

He nodded then curled up on Ebs shoulder.

“He’s fine,” he told Connor. “I think he’s just running out of steam.”

“Yeah, somehow Ebs ended up with a narcoleptic baby,” Taylor joked to Connor.

“He’s too young to be narcoleptic,” Ebs retorted. “All babies have day time naps.”

“Sure,” he said dryly. “You want to say goodbye Shae?”

Shae nodded then waved at Hayden and Aurelia.

“We gotta head out, too, Relly,” Nuge said, getting to his feet.

“No,” she insisted and then latched onto Shae.

“We’ll be back soon, promise,” he told her.

She shook her head fervently and began to turn red. Nuge looked supremely uncomfortable as she began to cry angry tears over being separated from Shae.

“No,” she cried and kicked her legs as Nuge picked her up.

“It’s nap time,” he told her. “We have to go home for that.”

Shae crawled over to Taylor and took hold of his shirt sleeve like she thought she’d get taken away too if she didn’t hold on.

Hayden was conked out on Ebs shoulder by the time they left, and Aurelia was completely teary. Connor helped Taylor clean up the living room, not knowing what else to do after being brought into the playdate. Taylor took Shae upstairs to put her down for her nap, and Connor returned to his laptop, feeling a little off balance.

A week later, Connor opened the front door to Nuge passing Aurelia off to him. “Do you mind holding her while I get the stuff out of the car?”

Connor took her automatically, but Nuge was headed back down to the driveway before he could ask anything. Aurelia gave him a weird look like she couldn’t remember if she’d seen him before.

“Hi,” he said, offering his free hand to her. “I’m Connor. We’ve met once before, but we didn’t get the chance to exchange names so I understand how that could be confusing.”

“Relly,” she responded then decided that Connor was offering his hand for her to chew on.

Nuge came back into the house with a box bigger than his torso. He gave Aurelia a kiss as he walked past her and Connor into the living room.

“What is that?” Connor asked, closing the door before joining him. “Also, you need to teach your kid that you don’t eat people’s hands after you meet them.”

“Have you considered that your hand is just particularly chewy?” Nuge asked, and Connor was mostly sure he wasn’t serious.

Then Nuge opened the box and pulled out bright red Christmas stockings like he was an elf or something.

“What are those for?” Connor asked.

“What’s it look like they’re for?” he asked as he pulled another stocking out in a deeper red. “I had to get a new one this year for you. I couldn’t find a matching one, but it should be okay because it has your name on it.”

Connor didn’t see his name on it.

“Sorry, wrong side,” he said then turned it around to show that his name had been embroidered on it in gold thread.

“Okay, and what do I need it for?”

Nuge looked extremely annoyed. “It’s for Christmas, obviously. Hallsy has always been too lazy to properly decorate, but how can you experience holiday cheer if you don’t have any decorations up?”

“The insane amount of Christmas songs on the radio.”

He glared at him. “At least Ebs has his Christmas shit together.”

Connor mocked a gasp. “There’s a baby in the room. How could you?”

“She can curse if she wants to. She’s at the expanding vocabulary stage,” he said, turning away from Connor to start hanging the stockings on the mantle.

“Why are you doing this? We’re not even going to be here on Christmas.” Connor asked.

“Where’s your holiday spirit?”

“It died last January.”

Nuge rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to stop enjoying yourself when you turn eighteen. You play hockey as your job for Christ’s sake.”

“Actually, my job is PT and nannying right now.”

“Don’t listen to the Grinch, Relly,” Nuge said, coming in close to kiss her cheek. “You’re too short to help this year, but if you watch maybe you can help next year.”

“Help!” she said cheerfully, putting up her arms then kicking her legs like she wanted to be put down.

“Yeah,” he said, beaming at her before giving her another kiss.

He turned back to the box and pulled out more garlands than Connor thought could fit into a box. Connor watched him in wonder as he decorated the railings and the living room with the garlands expertly.

“Oh, Nuge, you’re here,” Taylor called out from upstairs. “I’ll be down in a second.”

“Okay,” Nuge called back. He pulled out a pair of candles then came over and shoved them under Connor’s nose. “Which do you like better?”

“I can’t tell when they’re both right there,” he said, leaning back.

Nuge rolled his eyes and pulled one of the candles away. After a few seconds of Connor sniffing, he switched the candles. “Now which?”

“The first one.”

Nuge checked the label and made a face. “The fir tree one? It didn’t even smell like anything to me. I thought you’d go for the vanilla.”

Connor had liked the vanilla better. He just didn’t care about holiday decorating. So he’d said the first one.

“I guess Ebs will get the vanilla, and I still have the cinnamon ones for Hallsy.”

“You don’t know Ebs’ holiday favorite scent?” Connor asked, completely joking and doing it mostly to mock Nuge’s commitment to decorating.

“He changes it every year,” Nuge answered, offended and morose that Ebs couldn’t keep a constant favorite. “He told me his favorite Christmas scent was nutcracker, but that isn’t a scent! Everything I’ve tried isn’t the right one so now he’s getting the vanilla, I guess.”

“Oh.”

Taylor came down the stairs to save Connor with Shae all dressed up in red. “Looks like you’ve made good headway.”

“I’ve got your favorite,” Nuge said, going back into the box to pull out a bright red candle.

He held it up under Taylor’s nose, and he took a deep breath in. “It’s perfect,” Taylor said.

They smiled at each other over the candle. Connor needed to leave. He cleared his throat loudly because he still had his one good arm full of baby.

“Hey, I can help Nuge out if you wanna look after the girls,” Taylor offered.

“I can do that,” Connor said because babies are ten times easier than weird teammates.

Connor commandeered the couch with Aurelia and Shae flanking him. Taylor put on Christmas music then helped Nuge string garlands all over the place. Aurelia clapped and laughed, cheering on her father and Taylor as they decorated. Nuge even stopped by the couch to sing along to the Christmas music with her. Well, Aurelia didn’t really sing. She babbled mostly in key and mostly on time, and it kind of worked. Connor thought it was adorable, but Shae looked at the both of them like they’re crazy.

When they finished with the garlands, Taylor took a seat on Shae’s other side with a sigh. She leaned in against his side. “Do you like it, baby?” he asked, smoothing down her hair. “You probably don’t remember last year, but Nuge did the same everything.”

“That’s what makes it tradition,” Nuge said as he put on finishing touches. He took a seat on Aurelia’s other side and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Connor felt too in the middle.

Shae nodded, and Taylor laughed. “Good,” he said.

Shae kicked Connor in the thigh as she stretched out over the couch. He rubbed her little toes, and she pulled her feet in again.

“Anybody want hot chocolate?” Connor asked, alighting upon a way to get off the couch without being weird.

“Sure,” Nuge said as Aurelia cheered.

“Yeah, but I’m not sure if Shae wants it,” Taylor said, pointing down at the disgusted face Shae was making.

“Okay, we’ll call it a pass,” Connor said as he made his way over to the kitchen. It was cooler in the kitchen, and he felt like he could breathe comfortably again. He didn’t particularly like keurig hot chocolate, but that’s what Taylor had. He told himself he’d buy Tim Horton’s hot chocolate mix the next time he went grocery shopping, but, realistically, who knew when that would be?

He carefully balanced all the mugs and brought them back into the living room. Aurelia had taken up walking or bouncing back and forth across the couch as she sang an ode to the wonders of hot chocolate that she had just made up. Nuge watched her with a huge smile, and Shae had crawled over to the other side of Taylor. Connor didn’t understand how Nuge had ended up with such a loud child.

“You probably want to sit down so you don’t spill any,” Connor told Aurelia, and she immediately plopped down onto the couch and held out her hands.

Connor passed her the first cup, which had a little less hot chocolate in it, then distributed the rest of them. He took a seat with his own cup on the coffee table. If it could survive that one time Shae had jumped onto it from the couch (which had nearly given Taylor a heart attack), it could take Connor sitting on it for a few minutes.

Aurelia took a sip then screwed up her face. “Bad,” she announced.

“Is it the keurig stuff?” Nuge asked before trying his own mug. “Yeah, she’s pretentious about her hot chocolate.”

“I can’t imagine where she got it from,” Taylor said, rolling his eyes.

Nuge’s hot chocolate, to be fair, was the best Taylor had ever had. It had been explicitly made part of their Christmas and gift opening celebration with Ebs precisely because it was so good.

The last time Taylor had had Nuge’s hot chocolate had been before they’d had kids. He thought they hadn’t even known they would be having children yet, but he wasn’t sure. They had been told when it was cold. He remembered because Nuge had spent the whole conversation clutching his winter hat. Hockey seasons, however, are one long block of cold.

Nuge’s hot chocolate burned when he first sipped it, too impatient to wait for it to cool. Nuge always found the perfect consistency of chocolate and milky creaminess and served it a shade too hot so that the dregs at the end of a long conversation would still have some warmth. Taylor had asked for the recipe multiple times, but Nuge only ever offered him a secretive smile. Ebs had the same luck.

“I wish I could bring you home with me,” Ebs had said, looking like a contented cat after his first sip that last time.

They had all accepted that they couldn’t have Christmas together so long as they played hockey. There would never be the time for the three of them to stay together and for all of them to see their families. That didn’t stop Taylor from agreeing with Ebs.

Nuge smiled proudly and said, “I could send you home with a thermos.”

Taylor wrapped an arm around Nuge. “A thermos is a poor replacement for you.”

Nuge pressed a kiss to his cheek. Ebs frowned. He got up out of his chair to sit down on their laps. Nuge and Taylor laughed at his antics. Nuge kissed Ebs cheek all the same. Ebs leaned his cheek towards Taylor, but Taylor suck his tongue out. Ebs kissed him instead.

“Getting up for the flight home is going to suck,” Nuge said then took a sip of his hot chocolate. He leaned forward to rest his head on Ebs’ shoulder.

“Yeah, but I’m ready to see home,” Ebs said.

“Someday life will be less crazy,” Taylor added.

“Then we’ll be old and bored,” Nuge said, seriously enough to be funny.

“We can become coaches and boss everybody around,” Ebs said.

“Hallsy already does that,” Nuge said.

“Do not,” Taylor said, reaching around Ebs to poke Nuge’s side.

“Ow.”

“Don’t hurt my boyfriend,” Ebs chided him.

“He’s fine,” Taylor said, switching to playing footsie with Nuge. “I’m your boyfriend, too. Aren’t you going to defend my honor?”

“Your honor’s fine,” Ebs said, leaning back against Taylor.

Taylor gave him his kiss then.

Somehow, after children, it became impossible to fit together like that anymore. More had changed than just their bodies.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nuge said, ruining the effect by grimacing at the taste of the keurig hot chocolate.

“I’ll get the Tim Horton’s stuff for next time,” Connor said.  

“No,” Aurelia declared, puffing up. “Daddy hot chocolate.”

“Okay, Relly,” Nuge said, calming her down by running a hand over her head. “I can make you some tomorrow.”

“No,” she said, this time sounding sad and defeated. “Now.”

Nuge shook his head. “You don’t need the sugar of two hot chocolates.”

Aurelia settled on drinking the bad hot chocolate Connor had given her and made certain her father knew how displeased she was with the whole affair by doing her best approximation of a scowl. Now that Aurelia had quieted down, Shae stretched out over Taylor’s lap as they drank hot chocolate. Taylor rubbed her back. Connor sighed and stretched out his legs as much as he could with the couch in the way.

“Thank you for the hot chocolate,” Nuge said as they finished their drinks.

“Thank you,” Aurelia echoed though she wasn’t pleased or very thankful.

“You can just leave your cups here. I’ll take them into the kitchen,” Connor said, gesturing to the coffee table he was sitting on.

“Okay,” Nuge said, setting his and Aurelia’s cups on the table. He picked his daughter up and faced her towards them. “Say goodbye.”

“Bye,” she said then tucked herself against Nuge’s shoulder.

“Thanks for setting up,” Taylor told him. “See you later.”

“No problem,” Nuge said then turned to Connor and added, “Bye.”

“Bye,” Connor returned because it likely could be awhile before Connor saw him again.

“I expect presents for me and Shae,” Taylor told Connor once Nuge had left.

“Whatever,” Connor said, rolling his eyes as he got up to gather all the mugs. He actually already had a gift in mind for Shae. He had no idea what to get Taylor. He’d figure it out later.

* * *

December proceeded much as November had for Connor with the exception that Christmas brought new tension into the house. Gazzy kept trying to ask subtle questions about what he wanted for Christmas. He wanted to make his shoulder like new, but he couldn’t ask for that. Taylor kept bringing in secret packages that he told everyone to look away from loudly as he made his way up to his room to hide them away. Connor made the mistake of giving Shae too much hot chocolate and had to suffer her sugar high and eventual crash.

Then came the candle stealing. Connor had returned to spending free time in his bedroom. It was the only space he had free from his responsibilities to Shae and Taylor, and where he didn’t have any duties to his team. It, unfortunately, smelled like sweaty feet or well worn hockey gear (Dylan insisted they smelled different, but Connor always argued they smelled the same). It hadn’t been a problem until Taylor and Nuge made the rest of the house smell like cinnamon rolls were about to come out of the oven at any second. Nuge had also been right because the fir tree candle didn’t smell like anything and didn’t help.

So Connor commandeered a few candles. First he took the one out of the bathroom he was certain no one would miss. Then he took the one from the kitchen which he was pretty sure was just for visual decoration. Lastly, he took one of the little beanie ones from the living room that wouldn’t be missed with all the bigger ones in there.

He lined them up in his room where he was certain they couldn’t burn anything, and lit them as soon as he was done with all of his nannying. Dylan made a lot of seance and meditation jokes when they skyped, but Connor’s room smelled great so he didn’t care.

Connor overheard Taylor talking to Nuge one of the few times his PT ended as practice did. He said, “We have like a raccoon or something. My candles are disappearing. Nuge, you gotta help me get more.”

“You have a raccoon in you house?” Nuge asked, sounding both amused and unimpressed.

“Or a thief,” Taylor cried. “This is serious!”

“It’s not a thief,” Connor said, finally butting into the conversation. “I just borrowed a few candles. I didn’t think you’d miss them.”

“I knew it,” Taylor said, latching onto Connor’s shoulder.

“Then why didn’t you just ask?” Connor asked, feeling both offended and guilty. “I would have put them back.”

“Gazzy said it would be bad form to just accuse McJesus of stealing, but I was right.”

“It’s not like I took them out of the house,” he complains.

“I just want them back. It’s my house,” he says.

“I’ll put them back,” Connor said, pushing his hand off his shoulder.

“Good, now I gotta go tell Gazzy.”

Connor watched miserably as Taylor walked off with a spring in his step. He looked aside and was half-surprised to see Nuge still there. He didn’t look it, but Connor swore he found the whole thing hilarious. “What?”

“Fir tree didn’t smell like anything?” Nuge asked blandly.

“Not really,” he answered, feeling like he was being shamed for not picking the right candle in the first place.

“Vanilla then?”

“I thought you gave that to Ebs.”

Nuge tilts his head and smiles. “You really think Ebs likes vanilla?”

Connor has no idea.

“He doesn’t,” Nuge said like he was taking mercy on Connor. “I got him sugar plum candles this year. I’ve got your vanilla candles in my car if you don’t mind waiting for me to finish up.”

Connor didn’t so he ended up waiting around for Nuge and messing around on his phone. That mostly meant sending Dylan hilarious snaps (Connor thought they were hilarious. Dylan thought they were hilariously dweeby). Connor didn’t have long to wait.

Nuge opened up the back of his car and put his things in. Then he rummaged around for a few moments before pulling out a small set of vanilla candles. “Here you go,” Nuge said, handing them over to Connor.

“Thanks,” he said, unable to resist taking a deep breath of the scent.

“Enjoy,” Nuge said, smiling.

Nuge closed up his trunk, and they gave their goodbyes. Connor returned home and immediately put all the cinnamon candles back. He lined up his white little vanilla candles and lit them. He couldn’t keep them lit for long though as Taylor had errands to run, and he had promised to watch Shae, but it was enough.

December ended with much stress concerning family travel plans. Connor felt he had only a moment at home before he was shipped back headlong into the mess that comprised his first NHL season. Shae remained grumpy for days after the Halls returned home. Taylor claimed, “She just hates being in unfamiliar places. Or a lot of loud people. Or planes.”

“That’s completely unhelpful,” Connor informed him.

“You haven’t been the only one dealing with her for the past few days,” he said, looking haggard.

Shae shot him an offended look like she knew exactly what they’d been talking about.

“I love you,” Taylor told her sincerely. “But you’re not very fun to be around when you’re grumpy.”

She turned away from him. Taylor made a face at the back of her head. Shae became Connor’s nap buddy for the next few days until Taylor and Shae both weren’t grumpy at one another.

Connor could tell he was getting close to returning to the ice. His physical therapists and doctors confirmed it. Things could start looking up for the Oilers.

Except Nuge then broke a hand and wiped away any sense of hope. Taylor invited Nuge and Aurelia over saying, “You’ll probably need help with you hand busted, and Connor’s basically a whole person again. It’s better than letting your nanny hang around.”

From what Connor had heard, Nuge’s nanny was a nice girl and a genuinely good nanny. She just got weird around Nuge. He just wasn’t sure if that meant she was a fan or thought Nuge was a bad parent or always got weird spending time with her employers. Connor, however, knew that mixing two incompatibly weird people together made for some very awkward situations.

“Is that cool with you?” Taylor asked.

Connor nodded. “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Even if Nuge wouldn’t be able to do all the physical stuff, he definitely could bring extra authority to the table. Always a good thing to have in excess when toddlers get strange ideas in their heads.

Nuge was not as he had been before Christmas. He seemed miserable and exhausted at the prospect of recovery. Aurelia puttered about with a frown during play time, clearly upset and befuddled by her father’s downcast demeanor. Shae looked over to Connor as if to check if things were alright, and he could only give her a wan smile. Connor half wanted to cast Nuge out into the cold as Taylor had done to him to see if the chill might wake him up. On the other hand, he thought Nuge could do with a few days long nap, but would undoubtedly get pissed off at the suggestion just like Connor would have in the first week of his own injury. Too much physical energy and no real, proper way to spend it.

Connor settled on a compromise with watching movies with the lights low. Nuge could curl up on the couch with Aurelia and slip away to sleep without bothering either toddler. Connor watched over the girls and made sure to keep the volume low.  

Taylor returned home to them still spread out over the couch. Connor shushed him as he entered.

“You’re having a movie party without me?” he whispered. “Not cool, bro.”

“You’re free to join,” Connor said.

He didn’t mean that Taylor could squish himself into whatever space was left, but that was what he did, taking up the center of the couch between Shae and Aurelia. Taylor looked around, confused for a moment then asked, “Nuge is the one passed out?”

“I might have given the kids hot chocolate,” he said. Aurelia only took it once Connor proved it wasn’t the Keurig kind.

Taylor looked over Nuge for a few more moments. “He’s not looking so hot so I guess he needs the sleep. You wanna drive him and Aurelia home?”

“Sure, I can do that,” he said because Taylor had driven them over in the first place. Nuge didn’t feel comfortable driving with a broken hand. No one was going to question him as he had Aurelia to care for. It wasn’t like they couldn’t afford the extra gas either.

Taylor waited until the movie finished to wake Nuge up. “Hey Nuge,” he said softly. “Come on, Nugget. Time to wake up.”

Nuge made a sniffling sort of sound and then groggily, “Oh, you’re back.”

“Yeah, but I've gotta put Shae to bed, and Connor’s gonna drive you home so you can put Aurelia to bed.”

“Okay,” he agreed, standing up from the couch and stretching.

“Ready to go?” Connor asked.

“Yeah,” Nuge said then turned to Aurelia. “Time to say goodbye.”

Aurelia at that point looked as tired as her father. She turned to Shae and Taylor and gave them a weak, sleepy wave. “Bye-bye.”

Shae gave a similarly short wave, and Taylor said, “Bye, guys.”

“Let’s go,” Connor said, getting up and grabbing keys. He lead the way out to his car and unlocked it.

Nuge put Aurelia in Shae’s car seat then joined him in the front. Connor let the radio play quietly to fill up the tired silence.

“Have you changed your mind?” Nuge asked.

Connor startled a little as he thought Nuge had fallen asleep again. “Changed my mind about what?”

“Babies,” Nuge said like it was obvious, and maybe it was in his state of exhaustion. “You didn’t have one last summer so you didn’t want one. Now, you pretty much spend all your time with Shae.”

“I haven’t changed my mind at all,” he said, shrugging. “Too young then, and I’m too young now. I am still whatever about the idea of being pregnant, but I feel like I have a better handle on parenting. That kind of makes it, I don’t know, easier to think of having a kid in the future.”

Nuge makes a noise of consideration. “It might not be the pregnancy you have to worry about.”

Aurelia’s premature birth became real and filled up the car. That wasn’t some fact Connor knew about Nuge. It was an event he and his daughter lived through. It pressed on Connor like a bruise. And Nuge was right. He hadn’t really been concerned what the birthing process might be like, glossed over it as if it were some small moment.

“Well, I don’t plan to worry about it for a few years,” he said, and the tension eased.

Connor dropped Nuge and Aurelia off at their house, and headed back home after he saw them get inside. He half expected Taylor to invite Nuge over a dozen more times, but then Connor was given a time frame for his return. He couldn’t be a part time nanny anymore. He spent the ASG weekend in the AHL with a group of guys he hadn’t really met before, and then he was back in the NHL.

“Glad to be back?” Taylor asked after his first game.

“Yeah,” he says because there’s nothing like NHL hockey. “I kind of miss Shae though.”

Taylor laughed so hard. “Just wait until we’re on a road trip then you’ll really miss her.”

Connor did not look forward to that. On their skype call Dylan said, “You’d think Shae was your kid. First, you think she’s weird and now you don’t want to leave the house without her.”

“No, it’s just, she’s,” Connor floundered for words, “cool.”

“Uh, no, I’m cool. She’s a baby you’re way too attached to.”

“I’m not too attached,” Connor retorted, but Dylan did not believe him.

Taylor was right about the first roadie. Connor couldn’t fall asleep that night so he got up to go knock on Taylor’s door.

“Connor?” he asked, confused and half awake.

“We gotta call the nanny,” Connor said barging past him into the room to pace about.

“Why?” he asked. “It’s the middle of the night.”

“But something could be happening to Shae!” he argued then realized he was being way too loud for a hotel at night.

“Shae is fine and asleep,” Taylor assured him and then put his hands on his shoulders to stop his pacing. “Is something going on?”

Connor didn’t know what to say. He had this utter conviction that Shae was absolutely crying back home. She could be hurt or scared or dying or something else terrible.

“Oh my god,” Taylor said like he’d figured it all out. “Are you seriously freaking out about my kid?”

“No,” he said, not one bit convincing.

“Okay, I am the parent here. I get to be the one convinced my kid is going to die while I’m away. That’s my job. You really don’t need to worry about that. You just have to accept that you can’t be with her every second of the day, and move on with your life, or you’ll run yourself ragged.”

“How?” he asked quietly. The last time Connor had been anywhere as near as concerned about someone had been that time Dylan had fallen asleep with his phone off and no one could find him for an hour. And Dylan had been a teenager who could totally take care of himself for an hour. Shae was a baby.

Taylor sighed heavily. “I don’t know. It’s not really something you can do in one night. Do you just wanna crash here for tonight?”

Connor spent a moment deciding then said quietly, “Yeah.”

Connor definitely missed his cuddle times with Dylan. Most hockey guys were tactile enough, but with Dylan it was always more comfortable and indefinite, like they always knew they had the time to just be up close together. He didn’t have that with anyone in Edmonton, and that was bad enough on its own. Right now, anxious about a kid miles away, Connor could have used some cuddle time with Dylan to force himself to unwind.

Taylor letting him curl up against his side would have to be enough. It still took a long time for Connor to fall asleep. Taylor swore that it would never happen again in the morning, but Connor already had plans for getting cuddle time out of him in the future. He might not be Dylan, but he still had needs.

When they returned home, Shae came running down the hall to Taylor. He picked her up and swung her around. “I missed you,” he told her as he kissed her loudly and obnoxiously all over her face. “I love you so, so much.”

She responded by trying to hug his head. Connor thought it was cute, but he also wanted to give Shae kisses and hugs. Taylor eventually noticed Connor staring intently at them. “You wanna see Davo?” he asked Shae.

She nodded so Taylor passed her over to Connor. Connor gave her a squeeze. “I missed you, too. Are you happy to see me?”

“McJesus,” she said, smiling, and Taylor laughed.

Connor got to keep hold of Shae while Taylor met with the nanny. When he finished, he returned to Connor and said, “Okay, now give me back my baby.”

“No,” Connor said, mostly to give him shit and a little bit just to hold onto Shae longer, and turned his back towards Taylor.

“Whatever, you weirdo,” Taylor said, circling him then encompassing both Shae and him in a hug.

Shae couldn’t stand the hug for very long, wriggling around until they set her down. For Connor, though, the few moments acting as a part of the Hall family had been rather wonderful. Dylan called him a sap on that night’s skype call, but then got all weepy when Connor said he missed their cuddle sessions.

“Yeah, I’m the sap,” Connor said, close to tears himself.

“Shut up, you know I’m sensitive.”

It was true. Dylan had cried when Connor had told him he was the best friend he’d ever had. So Connor had told him he’s an asshole ever since to spare his sensitive feelings.  

“I miss you, too, though,” Dylan said. “We’ll have a movie marathon when you get back.”

“Sounds great,” he said, though he doubted how much they’d actually watch. They had developed a bad habit of talking through movies, but they were still good for getting their cuddle on.

Over the next week, Taylor planned an outdoor session for the babies in their backyard. Ebs showed up early with Hayden already in his complete snowsuit looking like a very blue puffball while Shae was still only half dressed. Shae refused to put on her mittens before her coat no matter how many times and ways Taylor explained it would keep the snow out.

“Fine, fine,” Taylor said as Connor led Ebs into the living room. “I give up. Wear your gloves wrong, but don’t come crying to me when you get snow up your sleeves.”

“It won’t go up her sleeves. It’ll go down her gloves,” Connor said.

“Glove problems?” Ebs asked, setting Hayden down. Hayden made it a few steps then flopped over, mimicking a turtle trapped on its back. “Need help?”

Hayden shook his head and mumbled out a noise of disagreement through his scarf.

“Snow angels for him, I guess,” Connor said.

“If that,” Ebs said with a shrug. “School is gonna be terrible for him.”

Nuge showed up late with Aurelia also half dressed and tucked under his arm and squalling. “Help,” he pleaded. “I couldn’t get her dressed with one hand.”

“Okay, I got her,” Connor said, taking her from Nuge. Aurelia settled down somewhat in Connor’s arms, quieter but still squirmy and red faced. Nuge shut the door and followed Connor into the living room. Taylor had gotten Shae totally dressed by that point.

“Doing okay, Nugget?” Taylor asked teasingly. “You looked a little stressed.”

“I’m fine,” he said, on the edge of being snappy.

“You’re okay,” Connor told Aurelia soothingly as he set her down on the couch. “I’m gonna get you all fixed up so you can play with Hayden and Shae, alright?”

Aurelia took in a deep shuddering breath then nodded. Connor fixed her boots first then finished zipping up her snow pants. He helped her adjust her gloves and fix up her coat. He wrapped her scarf around her carefully and then zipped the ends into her coat. Last came her hat. “Now your little ears won’t get cold. Better?”

She still looked a little distressed, but nodded again.

“Told you he was a good little nanny,” Taylor said. Ebs and Taylor laughed, but Nuge didn’t.

“I gotta get my own stuff, but you guys can head outside,” Connor said, retreating from the room to head to the front hall closet. He pulled out his coat, hat, and scarf. He put them on then pulled his gloves out of his coat pockets and put them on too. He grabbed his boots from the front hallway and carried them to the back door before shoving his feet in them.

By the time he got outside, Hayden was already back-down in the snow. Aurelia tried to instruct him very poorly on how to make snow angels while standing by the top of his head. Shae was busy wandering off by herself with Taylor a few steps behind her.

“At least they’re old enough to enjoy it now,” Ebs said. “Sort of.”

Aurelia huffed and left Hayden to start trying to build something out of the snow. Hayden made half an attempt at a snow angel then stopped.

“Maybe he’ll be better when they’re old enough to go sledding,” Nuge suggested.

“I’ll have fun if he doesn’t,” Ebs said with a shrug.

Connor couldn’t stop smiling at the three kids even though they were off doing their own thing. They were adorable in their puffy winter coats and rosy cheeked from the cold. He took out his phone, hoping it wouldn’t freeze, and took off a glove so he could take a few snaps and pictures. He sent the pictures of them to nearly everyone in his contacts, the everyone he liked and knew wouldn’t give him shit.

“Davo, what the heck,” Taylor said, doing a decent job of controlling his swearing for once. “I’m right here! I can see them myself.”

Connor hadn’t realized that he’d sent the pictures to Taylor. He recovered quickly. “I want you to be able to cherish these memories always.”

Taylor gave him a flat look then Shae sneezed loudly. She turned back to the group revealing two long strings of boogers dripping from her nose.

“Yuck,” Ebs said loudly enough for Connor to hear, but not Taylor.

Taylor sighed as he pulled a little travel pack of tissues out of his pocket. Both he and Connor had learned to keep them around for Shae. “Yeah, I really wanna cherish this,” Taylor said as he knelt down to clean up Shae’s nose. “You only think she’s so cute because you’re not cleaning up her snot and poop.”

Connor made an offended face and held out his arms. He scooped up some snow with his gloved hand and tried to hit Taylor with it. “What do you think I was doing while you were gone? Chilling on a beach and sipping martinis?”

“I want to chill on a beach with martinis,” Nuge said mournfully. Connor turned back to see him fiddling with his cast. Clearly, he was still in the middle of injury blues even if he’d gotten better with driving.

“You’re injured. You can drink as many martinis as you want,” Ebs said, giving him some side eye. “You’re letting your nanny do her job right?”

Nuge didn’t answer.

“Then you won’t mind taking this then,” Taylor said, drawing Connor’s attention away from Nuge, and then he tossed the snotty tissue at Connor.

Connor stumbled backward, got his foot caught on the snow, or maybe something underneath it, and then landed on his ass. The tissue landed pathetically far away from him and Aurelia screeched in laughter. Taylor laughed too, and Shae grinned at him.

“Oh, fuck you,” Connor murmured to himself as he gathered up another ball of snow and properly packed it. He hit Taylor in the side of the head.

“Nice shot,” Ebs said, clapping for Connor.

“I wanna, I wanna,” Aurelia said, running towards Connor before stumbling in her boots and the snow.

“Alright, I’ll teach you how to throw snowballs,” Taylor said. “Davo can be target practice.”

“It’s not like any of you will be able to hit me,” Connor said as he got up out of the snow.

They spent the next half hour or so with Taylor teaching the girls to make and throw snowballs while Ebs tried to get Hayden to do anything other than lie in the snow. Connor stood around pretending to be a target and chirping Taylor. Nuge did his best to give words of encouragement, but they were half hearted at best.

The girls’ snowballs were pathetic little lumpy things, and their throws were hardly better. The snowballs never landed farther than a foot from their feet, and Connor was very safe from any danger. Aurelia gave up the game first, packing up a handful of snow and then running towards Connor.

“Aurelia,” Nuge warned.

Connor only had to take a step back to keep out of her throwing range. She picked up another handful of snow, undeterred by the small set back.

“Aurelia,” Nuge repeated, now starting after her.

She ignored him and chased after Connor in earnest. He let her catch him, and she smushed the snow against the side of his jeans.

“Aurelia, _quit it_.”

Connor startled more than Aurelia did. He hadn’t seen the harm in getting his pants a little snowy. They were meant to hit him, anyways. Nuge hadn’t ever been that sharp with the team, even when he arguably had reason to, and he’d often been even quieter with Aurelia around. Connor wasn’t sure what to make of it.

Aurelia turned back towards her father, eyes downcast. Nuge scooped her up and set her on his hip. “You don’t put snow on people. It makes them cold and wet. I know Uncle Taylor was trying to teach you to throw a snowball at him, but we all knew he wouldn’t be hit. You weren’t supposed to chase after him.”

“Okay,” Aurelia mumbled sadly.

“Nuge, it’s fine,” Connor said and received a glare for his troubles.

“I think maybe it’s time to head inside,” Taylor said, coming up behind Nuge and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you let Davo take her in so she knows he doesn’t hate her?”

Nuge and Taylor had a staring contest for a few moments. Nuge ultimately gave in and handed Aurelia over to Connor.

“Let’s get some hot chocolate, okay?” he asked.

“Okay,” she said, sounding more miserable than she had when Nuge had chewed her out.

“McJesus,” Shae piped up from around his feet.

“You wanna be picked up, too?” he asked.

She nodded and raised up her arms as high as she could get them.

“Oh, boy, okay, hold on,” Connor said. Aurelia obediently wrapped her arms around his neck as he carefully picked Shae up as well. “Wanna get the door Ebs?”

“I got it,” he said, carrying Hayden back to the house. He got the door open and let them all in. He set Hayden down in the living room and said, “I’m heading back out. Be back in a minute.”

Connor dropped down onto the couch with the girls. “I guess it’s time for adult conversation outside. I may not be as young as you, but some people still think I’m a baby.”

It mattered little to him right now, as the conversation outside was one he’d rather not have to deal with.

“If you guys help me get all your winter gear off, we can have hot chocolate. Sound good?” Connor asked.

“Hot chocolate,” Aurelia repeated, sounding recovered from outside.

“Okay, okay,” he said, worming his way off the couch. “Let’s get going then.”

It took quite a while to get the kids all undressed and their clothes and boots set aside so they wouldn’t drip all over. He mushed them towards the kitchen and made them all hot chocolate, including the fathers still outside.

Outside, Ebs returned to the stilted conversation between Taylor and Nuge.

“You didn’t need to do that,” Nuge hissed at Taylor.

“You didn’t need to do anything either. It wasn’t like she hurt Davo,” Taylor said.

“That wasn’t the point.”

“Then what was the point? That she didn’t listen to you immediately and needed to be punished for it?” Taylor asked.

“No,” Nuge said, offended.

“Deep breaths everyone,” Ebs said. “We know you’re not a bad father, Nuge. I think you’re just putting unnecessary stress on yourself. You don’t need to do and be everything for your kid.”

“I know that,” he snapped then took a deep breath like Ebs suggested. “We don’t get a lot of time off. Is it so bad that I want to spend it all on my kid?”

“No,” Taylor said, calming as well. “But you have time off because you’re injured. You need time for yourself, too.”

Nuge only made a face. Taylor wished he could hug him and kiss him until it was all smoothed over. Nuge had never been the type of person to be so easily soothed, but it would make Taylor feel more capable as a consoler. Taylor didn’t really wish for them to return to the romantic relationship they’d had before, but times like this made him think it might be easier if they’d stayed together.

Of course, logic told him that it wouldn’t be easier. That’s why they weren’t together. Nuge always claimed it was the premature birth when they did talk about the circumstances of their breakup, but Taylor knew it to be having children. That was the trouble with children. They’d gone in thinking that they’d all be on the same page and be able to raise their children together. Maybe it would have worked if only one of them had had a child, but they could never know for certain because that wasn’t what had happened.

With each of them having their own child, it was too much. They were younger than they’d realized. They spent all their time those first couple of months looking down only at their own children and their relationship with them. They didn’t have the time to look up and spare a moment for each other. By the time Taylor had finally looked up, it was easier to be Shae’s father than find his way back to Ebs and Nuge.

The revelation came on a day that should have been normal when he’d still been sore from giving birth. He had come downstairs with Shae in his arms to warm a bottle of formula for her. He’d seen Nuge on the way to the kitchen. He’d noticed him for two reasons. The first was that Nuge was breastfeeding Aurelia when he normally did that in the privacy of his bedroom. He’d been sitting in the one good armchair they had. They always sat on the couch because there wasn’t enough room on the chairs for them all.

He watched them for a few moments. He switched back and forth from Nuge’s face to Aurelia’s. Nuge had complained of the painful contractions breastfeeding gave him and of the soreness lactation caused him. None of that showed on his face then. He was completely absorbed in doting upon his daughter. Taylor found himself wondering when the last time he’d kissed Nuge was.

The thought arrived unbidden and unattached to anything including himself. It was easy to push it aside and carry on to the kitchen. Shae wasn’t disturbed by the delay. Taylor rocked her as he heated the milk for her. She drank greedily when he finally got the bottle to her. He worried he had waited too long. It was so hard to tell with how quiet she was.

He returned to the living room and took a seat on the couch when he might have continued to his room the day before. He kept a careful eye on Shae but still found himself stealing glances at Nuge.

Ebs made his way down with Hayden eventually. Nuge had finished feeding by then.

“You guys having a meeting without me?” Ebs asked, sounding more tired than teasing. Taylor got as far as half a smile at Ebs being tired when all his baby did was sleep.

Nuge, however, seemed surprised that either of them were there. “No, I was just feeding Aurelia.”

“She doing alright?” Ebs asked.

“Yeah.”

Silence took over, heavy and limp. Taylor realized that was all they had to say to each other. They could operate indefinitely this way as separate entities merely existing in the same house. They weren’t behaving much like boyfriends or even coparents.

Ebs sighed and sat down on the couch next to Taylor. He brushed a finger over his son’s cheek, and Hayden leaned into his hand. Taylor suddenly missed Ebs and Nuge fervently, like a physical ache, when they were right in front of him. The last time he could recall of them all together without one of them being in some sort of distress over their children had been while they were still pregnant.

Taylor’s throat felt too tight. He leaned forward to rest his head against Ebs’ shoulder.

“Hallsy?” Ebs asked cautiously.

Taylor didn’t know what to tell him. He felt adrift and with the NHL season fast approaching he could only imagine being pushed further out to sea. How do you tell someone come back when they haven’t left?

“Taylor?”

He pulled back from Ebs’ shoulder to see both him and Nuge watching him with concern. He felt close to tears. He shook his head. “Sorry, it’s nothing.”

He set the empty bottle down on the coffee table. He resituated Shae in his arms and left for the sanctuary of his room.

“Do you know what’s going on?” Taylor heard Ebs ask Nuge.

“I don’t know.”

Taylor didn’t call back down to them. He shut his bedroom door between them and burped Shae. He would tell them he was breaking up with them when he had the energy to deal with the aftermath.

He never did tell them he was breaking up with them. Instead, he told them he was moving out and then left.

Taylor did better by Nuge in the snow and the dying afternoon light over a year later. “Why don’t you let Aurelia stay with me and Davo? You can just relax for tonight.”

“But I want to be with Aurelia,” he complained.

“You won’t relax if you’ve got her with you,” Ebs said, shooting Nuge a knowing look. “It’s only one night. You’ll have weeks left to be with her.”

“And Davo’s good with kids,” Taylor added. “Hell, I let him take care of Shae after Christmas when I had a few too many hours in a row with her.”

Nuge stared back at the both of them. Taylor knew to wait quietly for his decision, and so did Ebs. Eventually Nuge backed down. “Fine. Aurelia can spend the night with you guys.”

“Great,” Taylor said, finally getting the chance to wrap Nuge in a hug though it was more like the ones he gave teammates than the ones he used to give Nuge.

When they went in and found that Davo had gone ahead and made actually good hot chocolate for the three of them, Taylor nearly cried and kissed him in relief.

“You’re a good rookie,” Taylor told Connor then delivered a hard slap to his back.

“Just don’t start expecting hot chocolate on demand,” he said with a grin.

Connor didn’t say anything about Nuge leaving his daughter behind at Taylor’s house. He didn’t even watch as he gave her a kiss goodnight before leaving. Aurelia demanded to be allowed to sleep with Shae, and Shae seemed neutral on the subject so Taylor put the girls down for bed together.

When Nuge arrived in the morning to pick Aurelia up, Connor thought he looked better. He wanted to tell him something helpful and profound about dealing with injuries, but what would he know that Nuge didn’t already know?

“Feeling better now?” Taylor asked him, sounding like the right mix of teasing and genuine concern.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Nuge assured him. Aurelia came running for him, and he caught her and kissed her all over her face as she squealed happily. Connor looked away.

He got a little distraction from the babies with the upcoming game against the Sabres. He didn’t personally care one way or the other about the game, but everybody else cared that he could finally play against Jack Eichel. He thought that would be fun, but that he also played plenty of other really good players.

Meeting Eichel on the ice was funny though. Eichel clearly didn’t think Connor was some destined rival any more than Connor did, but that didn’t put chirping off the table.

“Gonna kick your ass,” Eichel told him confidently.

“Okay, I’d love to see you do it,” Connor said, smiling.

Eichel flushed red. “I will!”

Playing Eichel was fun, but Connor then had to rely on his team to back up his chirp. Just statistically speaking, that wasn’t a good idea, and superstition informed Connor that because he’d made a chirp on that, it was an even worse idea. When the game went to overtime, Connor fully expected to lose in a shootout.

The Oilers, instead, won in OT so Connor gave Eichel a big cheesy grin goodbye. It wasn’t much, but a win was a win. Also, it was funny to see Eichel turn red again.

Connor felt a little lonely for Dylan as another game versus the Coyotes arrived. He’d known the whole time that Dylan wouldn’t make the team immediately, but he wanted to see him all the same. The upside was that Nuge was returning to the lineup and was happier than he had been the whole time off it. It made Ebs and Taylor happy which just made Connor’s life a little better. Also, happier Aurelia which made Shae happier, too.

Of course, then the Coyotes shut them out and they lose 4-0.

“We can never have anything good,” Taylor said when they were well away from any cameras.

Connor psyched himself up for talking the media, but he was running very close to dry on his patience for dealing with them. Halfway through the interviews, there was a disturbance.

“Hallsy,” Nuge called out from his stall.

“What?” Taylor asked, confused.

“Where’s my hoodie?”

Taylor laughed. “It’s not me that does that anymore.”

“Then who has it?”

A few journalists standing around Connor started laughing. He didn’t have to look down to see Nuge’s number on his chest. He knew it was there.

“Maybe you should ask McJesus,” Ebs chimed in helpfully.

Nuge walked over to Connor’s collection of reporters with a suspicious look on his face. He peered over the heads of the reporters to check for himself that Connor had his hoodie. He walked around the group to get behind Connor and said, “Excuse me.”

He plucked Connor’s hoodie from his stall. Connor grinned. “Welcome back.”

“Yeah, I love having my shit stolen,” Nuge said, and Connor couldn’t tell that he was teasing until he put on Connor’s hoodie and gave him a smile before returning to his own stall and crowd of reporters.

All of the Otters knew about Connor’s habit of picking up whatever team clothing happened to be available. It created an in locker room circulation of gear where everyone sort of accepted they would end up wearing whoever’s and washing whatever they came home with. Connor tried to break himself of the habit in the Oilers locker room until his injury. They, however, made him switch back before he left until Nuge left that night with Connor’s hoodie instead of his own. Connor didn’t even notice until the following morning and he realized the hoodie he had didn’t have his number on it. He wore it anyways.

The Oiler’s season ended in a whimper. They saluted the fans, said goodbye to the arena, and it was over. Connor returned Nuge’s hoodie to him after the last game. He returned home lost in thought and silence. He didn’t know what he should feel, but what he did feel was unsatisfied and unfulfilled. He didn’t even know why it was hitting him so hard. He’d gone in knowing he couldn’t make _the_ difference and that no one could reasonably ask it of him. He wanted to talk to Crosby, Ovechkin, someone and ask how the hell you got rid of such terrible guilt when it wasn’t really your fault.

The day after the season ended, Taylor told him, “Despite the whole injury thing, I think you had a pretty good season.”

“If you say so,” Connor said blandly.

“Of course I say so,” Taylor said, wrapping him in a headlock. “You’re just a rookie so what do you know? Your life must be so terrible playing your favorite sport every day and signing babies and shit.”

“Okay, okay,” Connor said, trying to wriggle his way out of Taylor’s hold. “Uncle.”

Taylor released him, but only for a moment. He pulled him back in to give Connor a proper hug. “To be entirely too real, you’re a good kid. I’ve really enjoyed playing hockey with you this past season and maybe even enjoyed living with you when you didn’t steal my candles.”

Connor snorted with laughter, but was genuinely touched. He hugged Taylor back because he didn’t know what to say.

“I also really appreciated you stepping up for Shae when you didn’t have to. I’m sure she’d say she likes you too if she talked.”

“Shae’s a great kid,” Connor said as they slowly pulled back from the hug.

“Glad to hear you’ve come around to my side,” he said, grinning. “And hey, if we both get invited to Worlds maybe we can win something and put Shae in a big cup.”

Connor laughed. “I’d love to see that.”

A little over a month later, Shae was very put out over having to sit in a big metal cup for her father’s photo op.

**Author's Note:**

> I, C31PO, wrote the fic, and StalkerSidekick made the logs and docs that keeps all of our information straight and both contributed to the content. We said we were at 34k of chat fic in the last posting, but we're over 100k of chat fic at this point. 
> 
> As for what's coming up next, Taylor will be traded to the New Jersey Devils and will be followed along in that team's fic. This fic will eventually be Connor/RNH in future chapters. What will be posted next, however, is the first chapter to the Flyers fic covering the 09-10 season from Danny Briere's pov because we've decided to go back and forth between Western and Eastern teams. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


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